If I were not upon the stage

If I were not upon the stage,
Another life I’d lead.
If I were not upon the stage,
A washer-woman I’d be.
Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes.
Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes.

If I were not upon the stage,
Another life I’d lead.
If I were not upon the stage,
A fire-woman I’d be.
Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there.
Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there.
Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes.
Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes.

If I were not upon the stage,
Another life I’d lead.
If I were not upon the stage,
A secretary I’d be.
Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee.
Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee.
Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there.
Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there.
Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes.
Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes.

If I were not upon the stage,
Another life I’d lead.
If I were not upon the stage,
An airline pilot I’d be.
Flying Concorde, flying Concorde, in and out the clouds.
Flying Concorde, flying Concorde, in and out the clouds.
Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee.
Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee.
Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there.
Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there.
Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes.
Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes.

If I were not upon the stage,
Another life I’d lead.
If I were not upon the stage,
A farmer’s wife I’d be.
Ooooh, Aaahhh, Ooooh, Aaaahhh, all that lovely muck!
Ooooh, Aaahhh, Ooooh, Aaaahhh, all that lovely muck!
Flying Concorde, flying Concorde, in and out the clouds.
Flying Concorde, flying Concorde, in and out the clouds.
Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee.
Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee.
Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there.
Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there.
Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes.
Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes.

If I were not upon the stage,
Another life I’d lead.
If I were not upon the stage,
A bus conductor I’d be.
Any more fares please?  Any more fares please?  Pass right down the bus.
Any more fares please?  Any more fares please?  Pass right down the bus.
Ooooh, Aaahhh, Ooooh, Aaaahhh, all that lovely muck!
Ooooh, Aaahhh, Ooooh, Aaaahhh, all that lovely muck!
Flying Concorde, flying Concorde, in and out the clouds.
Flying Concorde, flying Concorde, in and out the clouds.
Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee.
Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee.
Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there.
Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there.
Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes.
Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes.

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